Railroad Yakuza -- The Blotter
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News and Review, Railroad Yakuza Style.
February 02, 2007
SOUIX FALLS, SOUTH DAKOTA | Troubled European aircraft manufacturer Airbus may be on the verge of signing a deal on 50 of its delayed A380 "superjumbo" airliners. Slated to be a cargo variant of the aircraft, the buyer is said to be Souix Falls, South Dakota based Dakota, Minnesota & Eastern Railroad.
"Since the residents of Rochester, MN don't want us to send our coal on trains through their town, we're going to do an end-run around them" said a DM&E executive on condition of anonymity. "We'll fly it over them instead."
Outraged Congressmen from Minnesota were reportedly trying to get ahold of FAA Administrator Marion C. Blakey to express their concern that flying coal planes would endanger the health of migrating birds, who might perch on the roof of the Mayo Clinic. "If they die from an avian form of Black Lung while they're on the roof, it might spread to patients and destroy the health of the hospital," said Congresswoman Betty McCollum (D, MN).
Meanwhile, shortline scab operator WATCO is said to be looking at bidding on the combined air-coal operation. "We don't fly anything now," said a WATCO spokesman. "But hey, it can't be any harder than using a remote-control locomotive's belt pack, right?"
EXTERNAL LINKS
Airbus S.A.S.
DM&E Railroad
Rep. Betty McCollum
Watco Companies
The Blotter is an online satirical publication produced by the Railroad Yakuza.