Railroad Yakuza -- The Blotter
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News and Review, Railroad Yakuza Style.
February 16, 2007
OMAHA, NEBRASKA | Shareholders of Omaha based Union Pacific Railroad appear to be discontented. The railroad, one of the largest in North America, posted an increase in its 4th quarter income of $196 over its 2005 performance, with a total revenue of $485 million. Some investors, however, believe this is lower than the company could have produced.
"We believe that Union Pacific is not maximizing its income potential," said Carl Schweinfleischstrasse. Schweinfleischstrasse is spokesman for an investors committee calling themselves the Committee for Maximized UP Profits, or COMUPP. The reason? "We believe that the decision to end licensing fees for the use of UP's logo my model railroad manufacturers was the main contributor to the poor performance." UP announced the end of its licensing program in November after years of legal wrangling with model manufacturers.
When asked about COMUPP's position, UP spokesman Kathryn Blackwell responded by asking "am I the only one who notices that our income was up last quarter by nearly $200 million?"
COMUPP paid for an independent audit of the company, according to Schweinfleischstrasse. "Our consultant determined that profits were off potential performance by 0.00063492 percent. This represents the staggering loss of $1200 last quarter alone."
EXTERNAL LINKS
UP announces end of licensing fee
Union Pacific
The Blotter is an online satirical publication produced by the Railroad Yakuza.